Clash of Empires
by Captain Wilson
Summary: The British from A Collision of Worlds against the Romans. So yeah here's something to tide you over while we wait for House of Hades.


"These cretins are nothing compared to the Frogs!" I yelled looking through my telescope as the Romans retreated hastily over a hill. Sam laughed.

"You must be pretty shit if you're worse than the frogs!" He scoffed again.

"Well said corporal!" I took the telescope from my eye.

I Major Dylan Y. Wilson along with my fellow British (Greek) demigods were currently stationed in America...attacking the Roman American demigods by order of my superiors to aid the Greek Americans. Also as Sam and I mentioned us Britons were currently against war with France. Allow me to explain: Since the demigod "repeat" of the First World War the European demigod camps were financially dead. The only option left to keep the camps alive was to sell our weapons, kit and uniform. After they were sold in the UK we went back to our original Red Coat outlook. We used flintlock pistols and Brown Bess rifles. Far less practical than our old Lee Enfield's. Life was harder but cheaper. Much the same had happened to the rest of Europe: France going back to their Napoleonic outlook, Italy doing the same. The biggest impact was on Germany. The Germans had lost the war and were more fucked than the rest of us. The German demigods were hugely ashamed because of their loss and had agreed on reverting back to their Prussian roots. Also the newly formed Prussian demigods were sucking up to us as much as possible, so taking advantage of such proposals the Prussians helped us against the French and would likely help us in other matters. An Anglo-Prussian Alliance.

Anyway, our attacks on the Romans were proving successful. Despite our weapons and such being set back to about 1812, the Romans were still well... Romans. Using Gladius swords, shields, bows, arrows and Roman battle armour. Granted they were bloody brutal but of all the world's great heroes there's none that can compare to the British armed forces.

"It's quite funny really," Lewis side striding up next to us. "That unruly bunch of "soldiers" hate us because we chucked them out back when they had an empire." He adjusted his military Tam O' Shanter. "Anyway sir, do you want me to bring up my platoon up?"

"Yes Sergeant Major. Show these yanks there's more to Britain than England." He saluted.

"Yes sir!" He marched away. Then I heard him yell: "Company! Forward march!" Then I heard the sound of bagpipes emit from behind me. Then Lewis and his Scottish platoon march forward next to me. Then singing:

"Hark now the drums beat up again! For all true soldiers, gentlemen! Let us list and march I say! Over the hills and far away! Over the hills and o'er the main! To Flanders, Portugal and Spain! Queen Elizabeth commands and we obey! Over the hills and far away!"

Eventually his voice got quieter as I watched the battle take place. However I soon observed that he and his platoon had met with some mere inconvenience. A group of about 25 Roman soldiers had marched up to face Lewis and his platoon. The Romans stood and waited with swords at the ready. Lewis was still marching but he stopped.

"Fix bayonets!" I heard him yell. His men set about attaching the bayonets to their rifles. The Romans took their chance and marched towards Lewis. However the Romans were too slow and Lewis's platoon were ready. He stood to one side and drew his sword. He raised it and yelled:

"Company! Present arms!" The platoon raised their muskets and aimed at the Romans. The Romans were panicking so tried to charge before the platoon could get a shot. But:

"Company! Fire!" Then I heard the simultaneous noise of about 30 muskets fire. Then the death screams of maybe...20 Romans? The few that remained either ran away or make a stand.

By this time I was watching from my telescope again and just witnessed Lewis draw his double barrelled flintlock and fire it into the face of a Roman. By this time the platoon had reloaded and mowed down the remaining Romans.

"You know Corporal, I'll bet that if Jackson were here he'd whinge about us killing them," I said putting my telescope away.

"Yes sir. That's the sort of thing he'd do. It makes it easier when you do."

"I agree. I'll also bet that there were several points in his life when he hadn't killed someone and regretted it later."

"Funny you should say that sir, because Annabeth once told me that there was this bloke whose name escapes me who Percy regrets not killing."

"Yeah she mentioned that to me too. Some guy with an eye patch."

"Then there was that chap who eventually became Kronus who he had loads of chances to kill."

"Still that's American efficiency for you. Put off a problem and then it bites you on the arse."

"Sir turtle shells!" Lieutenant Mathewson yelled. I looked through my telescope and he was right. The Romans were doing that obsolete idea of standing next to each other with their shields up. I smirked.

"Mathewson! Own! Bring up the artillery!"

"Sir yes sir!" The said simultaneously. Sure enough they brought up the canons.

"Take out those turtle shells on the double!"

"Sir yes sir!" I heard the artillery platoon yell. Then the almighty boom of the canons as they fired. This really sent the Romans packing. The force of the cannon balls obliterated the turtle shells and the majority of the Romans ran for it.

I joined Lewis on the field as rallied the men.

"That was a bit too easy," He grinned.

"Roman Yanks do not have the ability and skill of soldiers of Her Majesties own," I told him. Lieutenant Mathewson joined us.

"Sir the men are ready." He saluted.

"Thank you Lieutenant. Lead the way." Lewis and I followed him and saw the mine lined up together. I saw Sam stood at the first row. Lewis and Mathewson joined them.

"Now gentlemen, I'm sure like myself you aren't too surprised to find that we've won this battle with very few casualties. But remember that this was only a battle. We still have a war to fight and win! The Romans will most likely reconsider their plans of attack but there's some things we have they don't! Training! Guns! Cannons! We have colonial troops who are more than willing to help us! We also have the bloody Prussians if we need them! And gentlemen are we not soldiers of the Queen? We are Queen's men aren't we?"

"Aye!" They yelled. A few punched the air.

"And let's not forget! Despite the French being cheesy, snooty, cowardly and unwashed knobs! They are well trained and coordinated! I highly doubt that the unsavoury Romans will be better than them!"

"Aye!"

"Now gentlemen! There's a McDonalds not far from here! So let's go! We've earned it!" Then there was the bong on the drum.

"Queen Elizabeth and the United Kingdom forever!" Then the fifes and drums played the tune of our Grenadiers as we marched to get some burgers that hopefully didn't have any horse in them.


End file.
